 If you google anticipation this is the 3rd image | " Being loved without being known is lonely, but being known and loved is the root of freedom." |
*This blog post is dedicated to all those people who have known me and still loved me. Thanks for believing in me even when I didn't*
I am sitting on the recliner at a good friends house trying to decide what to blog about. Well, first let me take you back a bit. I was at lunch today talking with an established counselor about what I should do to get started with my practice and one thing he suggested was blogging. So here I am sitting late at night on my computer trying to blog. Before I go on rambling I must forewarn you I write how I talk, so just pretend like I am saying all things things to you at a coffee shop while we are catching up on life.
Speaking of catching up on life, I am in a unique season. I have graduated from grad school, moved from sunny Orlando back to Huntsville and now play this waiting game with the Alabama Board so that I can officially open up my practice. I am so glad to be back in a city that has warmed welcomed me back, yet still but also my heart aches for the friends I left in Orlando. The past two years we walked a journey together that was intense and real. I know their struggles and they know mine. I miss them dearly especially as I hear of their journey's through their blogs and email updates. I got to brag, but I have some of the bravest, courageous friends and they remind me that truth is worth pursuing and that being loved without being known is lonely, but being known and loved is the root of freedom.
The name of this season is Anticipation. So much is happening all around me, yet here I am waiting. It feels like when you are at Hartsfield International Airport and the pilot says we are 27th for takeoff. So I wait, but as I wait I have found myself at rest. Resting in the knowledge that this is the path for me. If a couple of years ago you would have told me I'd open my own business I would have dismissed you. But here I am. Anticipation can be scary and paralyzing, but it can also lead you to give pause to reflect on where life has taken you. Many of you know me and my story, but I can not help but be amazed at how God has continued to work in me and use me. I still panic when things don't happen how I plan them, but my perspective is changing with it.
Man I wish I could just end this blog right here so y'all will be impressed with me and how far I've come. But anticipation also reminds me of how messy my sin is and how needy I am. Anticipation ultimately draws me to the one day some day when God will make things right. This summer a dear friend lost her son to his drug addiction and I weeped and felt so alone. Another friend had a miscarriage and was brave enough to mourn publicly, allowing many to see the depths of her pain and realness of her vulnerability. Their anticipation is about much more than when will I start work, theirs was a cry to the one day someday when God will wipe away every tear. And the good news is he promises he will, but for now we are kept in this painstaking anticipation.
As a mentor once said its about perspective. Anticipation gets sweeter when are hearts ache and bones cry out. Anticipation is not meant to be experienced alone, it is meant to be experienced in relationship and community. Whatever you are anticipating, whether its your first kid heading off to college or the loss of a loved one, I'd encourage you to be vulnerable and let someone in. Being known takes great risk and often in my life I have decided against taking that risk for fear of rejection, but as I said earlier being known and being loved still is the root of freedom.
I am sitting on the recliner at a good friends house trying to decide what to blog about. Well, first let me take you back a bit. I was at lunch today talking with an established counselor about what I should do to get started with my practice and one thing he suggested was blogging. So here I am sitting late at night on my computer trying to blog. Before I go on rambling I must forewarn you I write how I talk, so just pretend like I am saying all things things to you at a coffee shop while we are catching up on life.
Speaking of catching up on life, I am in a unique season. I have graduated from grad school, moved from sunny Orlando back to Huntsville and now play this waiting game with the Alabama Board so that I can officially open up my practice. I am so glad to be back in a city that has warmed welcomed me back, yet still but also my heart aches for the friends I left in Orlando. The past two years we walked a journey together that was intense and real. I know their struggles and they know mine. I miss them dearly especially as I hear of their journey's through their blogs and email updates. I got to brag, but I have some of the bravest, courageous friends and they remind me that truth is worth pursuing and that being loved without being known is lonely, but being known and loved is the root of freedom.
The name of this season is Anticipation. So much is happening all around me, yet here I am waiting. It feels like when you are at Hartsfield International Airport and the pilot says we are 27th for takeoff. So I wait, but as I wait I have found myself at rest. Resting in the knowledge that this is the path for me. If a couple of years ago you would have told me I'd open my own business I would have dismissed you. But here I am. Anticipation can be scary and paralyzing, but it can also lead you to give pause to reflect on where life has taken you. Many of you know me and my story, but I can not help but be amazed at how God has continued to work in me and use me. I still panic when things don't happen how I plan them, but my perspective is changing with it.
Man I wish I could just end this blog right here so y'all will be impressed with me and how far I've come. But anticipation also reminds me of how messy my sin is and how needy I am. Anticipation ultimately draws me to the one day some day when God will make things right. This summer a dear friend lost her son to his drug addiction and I weeped and felt so alone. Another friend had a miscarriage and was brave enough to mourn publicly, allowing many to see the depths of her pain and realness of her vulnerability. Their anticipation is about much more than when will I start work, theirs was a cry to the one day someday when God will wipe away every tear. And the good news is he promises he will, but for now we are kept in this painstaking anticipation.
As a mentor once said its about perspective. Anticipation gets sweeter when are hearts ache and bones cry out. Anticipation is not meant to be experienced alone, it is meant to be experienced in relationship and community. Whatever you are anticipating, whether its your first kid heading off to college or the loss of a loved one, I'd encourage you to be vulnerable and let someone in. Being known takes great risk and often in my life I have decided against taking that risk for fear of rejection, but as I said earlier being known and being loved still is the root of freedom.
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